SOLDIER Romeo
by Demona3870
Summary: While at a party, Cloud and Zack discuss a movie… and the effect it has on others. Alternate reality, originally written for Clack Day 2013.


**SOLDIER Romeo**

For Clack Day 2013

_Alternate Reality. While at a party, Cloud and Zack discuss a movie… and the effect it has on others. _

_Warning: Yaoi, non-descriptive. _

_Rated: T (For language and adult situations)._

_Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 characters or settings, nor do I own the movie Private Romeo, which was the inspiration for this story. This film and these characters are only being used for my own entertainment, and I am not making any money off of this, nor do I intend to. _

The door shut behind him with a soft click, the thick windows deafening the roar of laughter from the rambunctious group inside. Their scathing remarks, each trying to outdo the other, slowly became lost in nature's music as she released another crash of thunder across the heavens. A sharp breeze gusted across the balcony, its chilly fingers lifting Zack's hair and spraying his face with a blast of rain. A gasp left him at the chill, followed by a soft laugh as he shook the rain drops from his bangs. He watched the skies light up again, smiled softly at the soft roll of thunder miles away, and leaned back against the cool metal of the ShinRa building. He brought the bottle to his lips, the beer warm from its bout of neglect during the card game, and took a long swallow.

Though it was not his first time enjoying a beer on this balcony, it was his first time indulging alone. When he was not yet of legal age, someone had thought it better for him to have a safe haven to enjoy the stupidity that too often accompanied a drunken stupor than to succumb to the peer pressure too well known in the ranks of SOLDIER. Angeal had called it "in house" training.

Zack had called it blackmail.

A soft snort escaped him at the memory of those pictures he'd found, and the horror he felt when Angeal said those were only a portion of what he had. Of course, they never got out… but it didn't stop the First from holding them over Zack's head, often times dropping subtle hints to Genesis and Sephiroth, much to Zack's frantic embarrassment. Many wouldn't think Commander Hewley had a playful side with all that honor he advertised.

It was what had made him so powerful as a mentor.

Zack paused, the bottle hovering inches from his lips. Another flash of light made him wince before the thunder echoed around him. At least, he told himself it was the lightning. Better than admitting his mentor, his inspiration… his friend… was still…

It had been several months now since Modeoheim. Zack had finally been allowed to return from Costa del Sol, and he was getting back into a routine that didn't feel so empty without the Commander by his side. Not that he should be in need of a constant companion, not with having made First.

He missed it, though.

Laughter roared from behind him, drawing Zack's eyes back inside to the party. Kunsel was laughing so hard he fell off the couch as everyone held up their PHS's to snap pictures of the red haired Turk now covered in whipped cream, his fair looks hidden behind the silver container that had been slammed into his face. Zack almost spit his beer across the balcony.

He watched his friends, those from SOLDIER and those from the Turks, who were now grabbing plates of whipped cream and resorting into a good old fashioned food fight. Zack chuckled, trying not to let himself get caught up in how mortified Angeal would be if he were to see what was happening to his place in his absence. But maybe he wouldn't be so upset. They were all here in his honor, anyway.

The SOLDIER hummed to himself as his eyes drifted away from the party to the dark horizon once more. Angeal would have turned 33 today, not that anyone would have believed him to be a day over 30. And it would have been the first time Zack didn't throw a party for him since becoming his protégé… a fact that Angeal despised relentlessly. Zack still did it anyway, and loved every painful training session afterwards. Because every party was a surprise… and it just got better every year as Zack's ring of friends grew.

Zack had come back to Angeal's place earlier that evening, heart as heavy as the feet that dragged him there… but still determined to visit one last time after having avoided it for so long. He hadn't expected the apartment to be so alive when he walked in. Food, booze, cards, movies, and friends greeted him with a surprise and a toast to the man who brought them all together in one way or another. The ravenette SOLDIER should have known better. Of course, they would be there with Zack, just as Angeal would have been.

Just as Angeal still was… in his own way.

The winds still brushed across the balcony, but with less driving force than before, and the steady downpour bounced off the thick balcony railing. Leaning against the damp metal, he allowed the cool drops to pound against his dark locks, now longer than before and brushed back in a way that was meant to reflect the man Zack had admired. He breathed deeply and let himself relax in the night's solitude, the dying storm, the close comfort of friends and distant watchful eyes of the departed.

It may have been several hours or only a moment before he turned to go back inside, stopping abruptly when realized he wasn't alone. Tucked away in the corner of the balcony that curved back out of sight of the door was the casually lounging form of one blond haired cadet, propped up on the railing with his back against the wall, protected from the rain by the balcony above. One leg was stretched out, the other knee pulled up to his chest, and a bottle of beer dangled from the hand that rested on his bent knee. His head was tilted back, his eyes closed, his face more relaxed than ever in uniform. He looked much different from the hesitant SOLDIER hope-to-be.

"Hi," Zack said, smirking only slightly as the cadet's eyes snapped open and he jumped slightly.

"Uh, hi," he said back, shifting to move off the railing. He stopped when Zack shook his head, waving at him to stay put. The SOLDIER strolled over and leaned against the railing near Cloud's foot.

"Too much for you in there?"

Cloud shook his head, hiding his eyes underneath his bangs. "No."

"Then why are you out here all by yourself?"

"Well, I'm…. not," Cloud said slowly, giving the First a pointed look before looking back down at his beer.

"Before I got here, smartass."

Cloud's eyes lifted to meet his, the blue gaze wide for only a moment before he realized Zack was only teasing him. He tapped the beer against his leg. "It's been a while since I've had anything… its going to my head quicker than I remember." Based on the slight blush spreading from cheek to cheek, it was probably true.

A snort left Zack's nose. "You're kidding. You honestly expect me to believe you were drinking before you joined the army?"

Cloud gave one nod, a slight twist of his lips mirroring a smile. "In Nibelheim, the drinking age is when you can reach the bar."

"Must have really low bars," Zack quipped under his breath. He grunted as the foot hit him lightly in the stomach, making him laugh. "Well, it's good to see you starting to relax. I think you needed it." Cloud shrugged and looked back out over the horizon. The melancholy look on his face wasn't lost on the SOLDIER. "Sure that wasn't the only reason?" he asked lightly.

Cloud sighed. "You'll laugh," he answered quietly.

"I won't," Zack said, holding up two fingers pressed together, "SOLDIER's honor."

Cloud rolled his eyes. "That's supposed to be Scout's honor."

"Same difference."

The cadet stared for a moment before a laugh escaped him, his hand quickly coming up to try and hide the heartfelt sound. At Zack's confused look, Cloud looked away, diligently working to stop his quaking shoulders. "Same difference, huh? Because you in a Boy Scout uniform would be just as intimidating as a SOLDIER uniform."

Zack quirked an eyebrow and gave the cadet a saucy smile. "Hey, I can rock bandana's and khaki shorts like they're nobody's business." He laughed at Cloud's reaction, taking another sip of his beer. "But that still doesn't answer my question."

Cloud sighed again. "I know." He looked out over the horizon. "I… was just thinking… imagining what it would feel like… to be SOLDIER… to be that strong, to be a hero… to be a part of something great." His eyes were drawn to the apartment when more laughter could be heard. "I want that."

"You'll get it." Zack shrugged at Cloud's surprised look. "If you want something bad enough, you'll get it. You're still here, right? You haven't given up, no matter how tough it gets. And you've already made an impression on everyone."

"I've barely said anything," Cloud argued.

"I don't mean tonight. I mean Modeoheim. Tseng won't forget what you did there… and neither will I." Zack could only hold Cloud's gaze for a moment before he took a drink from his beer, the silence bordering on uncomfortable. "Thank you for that, by the way," Zack said as he cleared his throat. "I mean, having just met and all, and the mission falling to shit… you know."

It was kind of funny. They'd learned each other's names and hometowns, knew one was a SOLDIER and one was a cadet, but beyond that, Cloud didn't know Zack from Adam. Fair was an officer, a warrior, a hero, and like all other SOLDIERs, inspired a respect and awe from others without trying. What could a cadet and SOLDIER really have to discuss other than a mission or military training?

But while Tseng had been making calls back to ShinRa headquarters on the flight back, Cloud had patiently engaged in conversation with Zack. At least, for Zack, he thought Cloud was being patient. The cadet probably didn't understand half the things the devastated SOLDIER was rambling on about, just anything to stop the silence… but it didn't matter. Cloud was rooted in the present while Zack was dangerously close to slipping into the past, into the memories that threatened to overwhelm him, memories of the life he had ended when everything had fallen apart.

It was that steady, soft spoken voice, the hesitant but genuine laughter that kept Zack from falling to pieces, and he couldn't have been more grateful for the kindred friendship that had grown out of the tragedy of that abandoned village.

"You're welcome."

Zack looked back over at the cadet, but the blue gaze was focused on his lap, the faintest smile on his lips. Zack said, "So now you've got your foot in the door, eh? Not just anybody would have been invited here tonight. Not for this." He smiled as he saw the expression on Cloud's face, one of surprise with a touch of genuine happiness. "What do you think of the group?"

"They're weird," he answered instantly. A second later, regret flashed across his face, causing Zack to laugh. "I mean, they're cool and-."

"It's ok," Zack chuckled, "you're right. We're all a little strange in the head. I think you have to be in this job. At least, it keeps things interesting."

"That's one way of putting it." Cloud frowned at Zack. "You don't seem strange."

"I'm open minded. People tend to think they're the same thing."

Cloud nodded. "So, can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"What did you think of that movie?"

Zack paused for a minute. "What, the one Cissnei brought?" A smile spread across his face. "Is that why you think everyone's weird?"

"No," Cloud rushed. He ducked away from Zack's disbelieving look. "Well, not completely. But not for the reason you probably think."

"Oh, you're a mind reader now? Tell me, what am I thinking?" Zack taunted lightly.

"That it made me uncomfortable, because of what it was about." He looked back at Zack. "Backwater towns usually frown on that stuff, you know."

"Did it?"

Cloud was quiet for a moment, his eyes more serious than before. "No."

The SOLDIER pursed his lips. "Then what's the reason?"

"I think it made everyone else uncomfortable, but nobody wanted to admit it. They just laughed instead." He looked at Zack. "You laughed, too. Did it make you uncomfortable?"

Zack stared at the cadet, unsure of what to say. There wasn't any accusing tone in the boy's voice or face, and yet the SOLDIER felt awkward about answering. Which surprised him, because he had just said he was open minded. The surprise must have registered on his face as Cloud chuckled softly. "I guess it did," he answered honestly.

"Why?"

Why indeed? Zack looked at the floor, staring at his tapping foot without really seeing it. He drank slowly from his beer as he thought about the cadet's question, genuinely intrigued. Why indeed?

There was a tradition in his circle of friends. Every few weeks, they would lounge around with take out and a movie. They never ate from the same place twice, and the movies had to be outside of the mainstream media. The stranger the better, that was their motto. Those nights were always full of laughter and rather interesting discussions afterwards, depending on the amount of booze consumed during the movie. Last time, Reno had brought in a movie called the Human Centipede that was supposed to be hailed in certain circles as the most horrifying movie ever. Most visually disturbing was more like it. Zack was sure he'd been border-line traumatized.

So, Cissnei decided to go the opposite direction, and tonight she had brought a romance called Private Romeo. It was a play on a famous love story, written hundreds of years ago; when people used language that didn't really make sense now. But it had a twist. It took place in a military school. An all male military school. And while it was not graphic by any means, the kissing scenes were not chaste in the least. They created much chaos in the room, as Cloud had noted. Zack hadn't thought anything of it, too caught off guard by what was playing… and he wondered…

"I've never really seen it before," he said quietly.

"What?"

Zack looked at Cloud. "Two men, kissing, like that." He scoffed and laughed softly. "I have friends, I've known men who were couples, and it doesn't matter to me. But, I've never seen it like this. Like… in your face. It was… surprising."

"It was different."

Zack nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, everybody's seen two girls kissing. I bet even you have." He smirked at Cloud's light blush. "I mean, that's common, right? At least, here in Midgar."

"So it was wrong."

Zack frowned at his blond companion. "Wrong?" He scratched his head. "I dunno about that, it's not right to say two guys together is wrong."

"But you heard everyone in there, Zack. You heard the jokes, you even laughed at them. Nobody took them seriously as a couple. Some of them were even disgusted when they were in bed. They couldn't look at the screen."

Zack was still for a moment as he stared at Cloud. The cadet swallowed under the SOLDIER's even gaze. At the blond's quiet inquiry, Zack said, "That really bothered you." It wasn't a question, and Cloud flinched away.

"Stop looking at me like that," he huffed. "I already told you, it wasn't the movie-."

"No, it wasn't. It was everyone's reactions," Zack clarified. "Why?" He turned his body towards Cloud, leaning his hip against the railing as he crossed his arms. "Why do their opinions matter so much?"

"They don't," Cloud snapped, "I was just making an observation."

Zack's eyebrows went up. "No one's going to think any different of you if you're-."

"I'm not gay!" Cloud said in disbelief, his voice rising in protest.

The two stared at each other, neither saying anything, until Zack broke the trance by taking a long swallow from his beer. "So the movie did make you uncomfortable."

"No, it didn't!"

"Cloud, if you were so accepting of people being gay, you wouldn't be so offended if someone thought you were," Zack said. "Admit it, you feel as awkward about the whole thing as everyone else. And guess what? It's okay to feel weird about something that's different."

"No, it's not," the blond argued, straddling the railing as he leaned forward. "But it's what we're taught, so it's what everyone believes."

"Huh?"

"That being different is wrong, that it's unacceptable. Nobody wants to be different, and those who are get pushed out and mocked."

Zack blinked. "Did someone slip something in your beer? Or do you always get this deep when you drink?"

Cloud scowled and looked away. "Oh, forget it. Why would you care?"

"Cloud." The tone of his voice made the cadet look up. "What's wrong, man? Where did this come from?"

At first, he didn't say anything. He just watched Zack, as if figuring out the sincerity of the man's questions. When the verdict was reached, he sighed. "I… thought they'd be different, Zack. I mean, you hang out with heroes! But they're just like everyone else. Everyone's afraid of what's different, but it's not wrong. They just don't understand!" Cloud looked down at the railing. "No one ever understands," he said quietly.

Zack watched the cadet, a sinking feeling in his stomach as something familiar came back. Something he hadn't thought of in a long time. Something he and his companion shared without knowing it. He turned and crossed his arms, placing them on the railing and leaning over to look down at the plate far below. "No one likes change," Zack said softly. "You know why? Because it means things are going to be different.

"I like change. I like seeing and trying new things. I like…standing out in a crowd." Zack shook his head. "But they didn't. None of them did. And they didn't like that I didn't want to be like them. They didn't like that I wanted change. That I wanted to be different." Zack looked at Cloud, who stared at him in surprise. "Backwater towns usually frown on that stuff, you know," he repeated Cloud's words.

"So I left… without their permission." Zack looked below again. "I guess I feel bad, I mean, my parents were good people. They were just… narrow minded. Like everyone else in that town. But here, in Midgar, everything was wide open. Dreams, possibilities, relationships. Everything was new and shiny and changed so quickly, over and over." Zack laughed to himself. "Honestly, it scared the hell out of me when I first got here… because everything was so different. I had a lot to learn real fast, and boy did I get made fun of for my ignorance."

"You did?"

"All the time. Got my ass kicked for it a few times, too. Helped me learn self defense real quick. And not only for being clueless most of the time, but for being so damn excitable. They thought I had some kind of mental problem at first. No one in boot camp should ever be that energetic, they'd said. And I got my troops in so much trouble because I didn't know when to keep my mouth shut, or I got into more trouble by not asking a question." Zack shook his head and chuckled. "It was rough. It was really rough. But I was going to be SOLDIER, and nothing was going to hold me back, no matter how hard my platoon made it for me.

"Then Angeal found me." He looked at Cloud. "And you know why he picked me for the program instead of all of the other potential candidates?"

Cloud shook his head.

"Because I was nothing like them. I was myself, instead of just another trooper trying to be like Sephiroth. I didn't say all the right things, I didn't always act the right way, and I sure as hell didn't stop when I was told to. I was noticed… because I was different."

Cloud looked down at his beer. He swirled the liquid in his bottle in slow circles. "You think… someone will notice me?"

"Why do you think you're here, man?" The cadet didn't respond, instead taking a drink to hide his smile. The silence stretched between them, each lost to their own thoughts as the storm blew away and left a steady rain to fall upon the plate. Deciding the serious moment had passed and it was time to have some fun. Zack smirked as he watched his companion from the corner of his eye, waiting until the blond took a sip of his beer before as he casually dropped the question, "So are you gay?"

Cloud almost choked on his drink. He glared at the SOLDIER as he wiped the spilled liquid from his shirt. "Cute," he muttered, but made no further attempts to continue the conversation.

"Come on, I answered your question."

A whining tone such as that coming from a grown man should have made Cloud less accommodating, but the booze was good and so was the company. The words spilled out before they registered. "I don't know," he answered honestly. "I've never really been liked, and I really don't bother to look, so…"

"Was there ever anyone?"

Cloud nodded. "There was a girl. Tifa. I…I wanted to impress her."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Is she impressed?"

"I don't know," Cloud shrugged. "I haven't talked to her."

Zack turned around and lifted himself to sit on the railing. "Do you want to?"

The cadet studied his beer for a moment. "No… not really."

"So you two were real close then, huh?" he joked.

"She made fun of me, just like everyone else. Sometimes worse… sometimes not."

The SOLDIER's hand stopped midair, the bottle hovering inches from his lips as he frowned. "Really?" At the blond's nod, he asked, "Then… why?"

"Because she was popular and fun and pretty. Everyone's supposed to like the pretty ones, right?"

Zack shook his head. "Only if you want to be like everyone else, Cloud. If you really liked her, that's one thing. But if you just wanted to treat her like a prize, to prove you're better than everyone thought… then you are just like the rest of them." Zack tilted his head back. "Is that what you want?"

"No," he shook his head. "I don't want to be like them."

"Good. Don't be." He raised his beer in a salute. "Be different."

Cloud rolled his eyes. "I get it, Zack. I know how to be different… I just don't know how to live with it."

"But that's easy. Don't care about other people's opinions so much. Try starting with that."

Cloud scoffed. "Of course that's easy… for you. You're larger than life."

"And how do you think I got this way? One terrifying step at a time. True, I may be a little bit more… aggressive… when it comes to what I want. But I still had to take risks to get here. You took a risk joining, right? I mean, at first look, I thought a stiff wind would knock you over." He held his hands up at the icy glare he received. "Hey, hey now, you proved me wrong! You're a lot more rugged than you look." He leaned over Cloud's leg and smiled. "And you're much stronger. And you're brave. And you're loyal. And a good friend. And you're blushing."

The cadet reached out and shoved Zack away, groaning in embarrassment. "Gods, you're such an idiot."

"And," Zack continued as if he'd never been interrupted, "you're a lot more social when you're relaxed."

"Yeah," he agreed, lifting his drink in mock admiration, "beer is a beautiful thing." He sighed as he let it drop back into his lap. "But I don't think I'm brave. If I was… maybe I wouldn't be so… backwards with others."

"I think you're brave, but let's say, for arguments sake, you need some help. Tell me, how do you get brave?"

"Walk up to the General and say, 'Your hair is pretty, can I touch it?' and see if you live to tell the tale," Cloud answered without missing a beat.

Zack laughed, full bodied and free. "Oh, man, I would pay to see you do that! And while that is one way of breaking out of your comfort zone, let's start smaller. Baby steps."

Cloud took another sip and scrunched his face in confusion. "Like what?"

"Like… being rebellious."

"That doesn't sound like a baby step. And that doesn't sound smart either."

"But you already made the first leap," Zack argued, swinging his arms out wide beside him. "You joined the army! How much more rebellious can a backwards kid from a hick town get, huh? Now, you just need to keep it up."

Cloud was silent for a moment before he said flatly, "You're going to get me in trouble, aren't you?"

Zack held up a finger. "First rule; don't do something that'll get you in trouble. Second rule, if you ignore the first rule then don't get caught. Third rule, if you ignore the first rule and fail on the second, then deny everything… what?!"

"Why do I get the feeling you're going to be a bad influence?" the cadet asked from behind the hand covering his face.

"Me? A bad influence?! Never!" He slid off the railing and hopped from foot to foot, a crazy grin on his face. "So what brave thing do you want to do first?"

"Zack, this is stupid."

"You're only saying that because you're scared."

"I am not!"

"Then prove it," Zack taunted, invading Cloud's personal space until the cadet shoved him away again. "Do something brave."

"I don't know what to do."

"Hmmm," Zack thought, tapping his foot. "Go kiss Cissnei."

"What?!"

"Give her a kiss on the cheek, she'll love it."

"I thought you wanted me to do something brave, not suicidal!"

"Come on, no one will do anything about it. In fact, you'll probably make it the best moment of the night! Everyone will be cheering you on, man! Just kiss her cheek and walk away. It'll be cute and sweet and innocent… and funny as hell."

Cloud was shaking his head vehemently. "Zack, no."

The SOLDIER's shoulders fell at the firm denial. "Why not?"

"Because that is not a baby step! I barely know those guys, and I barely know her, and… and…"

"What?"

"…And I don't think I'm attracted to her, so why would I kiss her?"

"Well, then who are you attracted to?" Cloud goraned in frustration. "No, seriously. There's got to be someone out there who's caught your eye. Everybody has somebody."

Cloud gave him a heated look. "I told you, I'm not attracted to anyone."

"That's not normal for your age."

"You're not normal for your age!"

Zack's mouth quirked up in amusement. "Ah, touchy subject."

"Just drop it, Zack. We don't get to go out like you do, you know? I'm not going to meet a flower girl in a platoon full of cadets."

Zack's eyes widened before they dropped, his hand coming up and scratching the back of his head. "Ah. You heard about her?"

"I don't think anyone's not heard about her. They say she's special."

"Yeah," Zack agreed softly. They were quiet for a moment before Cloud spoke.

"You really like her?"

Zack's smirk came back and he shot the cadet a teasing look. "Jealous?"

A snort. "Piss off."

"Oooh, finally getting brave over here, huh? Talking back to a senior officer."

"Ah, come off it."

"But we're just getting started! Come on, hit me again," Zack teased, bringing his fists up in front of him like a boxer ready to weave.

"Have you kissed her?"

The SOLDIER's antics came to an abrupt halt. "Uh…" he stumbled. He glanced at Cloud and looked away in what could only be labeled as embarrassment. He turned toward the balcony and took another drink. "That's what I get for taunting, huh?"

Surprised by the sudden change in his friend, Cloud muttered, "Sorry. I shouldn't have asked that."

They were quiet for a moment. Then, "Why do you want to know?"

"I was just wondering… what it's like."

Zack gave him an odd look. "Kissing Aerith?"

"No," Cloud ducked his head, his tone laced with embarrassment. "Just, in general."

Zack took a breath, hesitated then spoke. "Aerith and I… are close, but not that close."

Cloud looked up in surprise. "Really? The cadets have been talking about wedding bells for months."

"Are you serious?" he asked in disbelief.

"Well, yeah. Haven't you heard? People have been making bets for a while now."

"No." Zack leaned against the railing and stared out into the rain. "And I hope she hasn't either," he said softly.

"Why?" At the SOLDIER's look, he said, "You don't think she'd want to marry a hero like you?"

"I… haven't thought about it," he admitted. His eyes dropped down to the railing and the beer he set there. "I don't think I'm ready for that yet… and I don't want her thinking that either." He shook his head. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Uh, sure. What do you want to talk about?"

Zack looked at him for a moment. His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "So, you've never kissed anyone?"

"Uh, what else do you want to talk about?" he muttered, looking away.

"It's ok, kid. Like you said, it's kinda hard to meet girls at work. Unless you work with the Turks. So, what about guys?"

Cloud nearly broke his bottle slamming it down onto the railing. "What is it with-why do you keep asking- are you gay?!" the cadet spit out in exasperation, frustrated with the common line of questioning.

Zack looked undaunted by the sudden outburst. If the grin on his face was any indication, he was rather enjoying spinning the cadet up. "You answer first," he said calmly, the smile never falling.

The cadet huffed in annoyance. "I haven't thought about it, so no."

"But you said earlier you weren't sure. And you'll never know until you try it, right?"

Cloud shook his head. "Uh-uh. I answered your question, you answer mine. You ever kiss a guy?" he pressed, hoping to make the SOLDIER as uncomfortable as he was.

"No," Zack answered simply. He shrugged. "Doesn't mean I won't, though. Like I said, I like trying new things."

"Really," Cloud said, pointing his arm towards the apartment. "Even after seeing how they all reacted in there? You wouldn't be afraid of being treated differently?"

The teasing tone fell away from Zack's voice as he answered. "First off, I trust my friends. Completely. And if I thought they were going to be so shallow that my sexual preference was going to be an issue, I would have cut them loose a long time ago.

Secondly," he held up two fingers for emphasis, "I live my life the way I want, not how others want. It took a long time for me to be really comfortable with that, it did, but I won't have it any other way. I know I get myself into trouble sometimes, thinking like that, but it's who I am. It's who I want to be. And I'm not going to change because someone thinks I should be different. You shouldn't either. You didn't at home, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then don't change," he said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"So is that what it is, then? Being brave? Just being yourself? That's it?" Cloud asked, his tone suspicious.

"Yes. And knowing what you want and doing everything to get it, and not letting anyone else stop you."

Cloud's jaw tightened. "And trusting others… like you trust your friends?"

"Nobody can do it alone, Cloud."

A pause. "It… it's hard to trust others."

Zack smiled and spread his arms out. "That's what makes it worth it."

Cloud took a breath and looked down. "You think I can trust them in there?" he asked quietly.

"Absolutely," Zack said without hesitation. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned forward on the railing. "That's why I still think you should kiss Cissnei. She'll love you forever for it."

"I don't want to kiss Cissnei."

Zack looked over at Cloud, surprised by the change in tone in the boy's voice. The light bantering seemed to have evaporated in the space of a breath. "Cloud?"

"I don't know her, Zack… I don't know her, so I can't trust her. Not yet." A breath. "For something… something like that I… I want someone I can trust."

Zack's breathing stilled when the cadet's eyes finally rose to meet his. Even in the shadows of the balcony, he could see brightness in those eyes, and the slightest flush tinting his cheeks. Zack wondered if it was still the beer… and wondered why he hoped it was not.

"Do you trust me?" the blond asked.

"Of course, Spike." His voice caught for just a moment. "Do… you trust me?"

Cloud's cheeks seemed to get redder, but he didn't look away as he nodded his head. He licked his lips, he took a breath, and the question tumbled softly from his lips. "Can I kiss you?"

Zack didn't answer, but after a moment, he pushed off his elbows and moved towards Cloud. Their eyes stayed locked on one another, and Cloud leaned forward, unsure, but trusting. Zack inched closer, his eyes darting once from Cloud's eyes to his mouth before returning home. Their breaths mingled, Cloud's mouth hovering slightly over Zack's, and neither pushed the final distance, their eyes simply staring, asking, trusting. Cloud took a soft breath and closed his eyes, pushing forward the final distance to press their lips together. It was warm, soft, gentle, and it sent a thrill through Cloud. He broke the kiss and pulled back, his eyes staying closed as he moistened his lips. He took another breath before opening his eyes and looking at Zack, bracing himself for whatever reaction the older teen may have.

Zack's eyes were open, staring… and glowing. Cloud felt his breath catch in his throat. His expression was… unclear, and it made Cloud nervous. "Are you mad?" he blurted, regretting the words the instant they shot out of his mouth. Zack did not answer, giving a slow shake of his head in reply, his eyes never leaving Cloud's. "Oh. I… uh-."

"Did you like it?"

The SOLDIER's voice was low, soft, and Cloud felt himself blush more at the tone then the words. Then his question registered, and Cloud dropped his head. "It was nice," he answered quietly.

"Did it feel wrong?"

Cloud shook his head. "No."

"Then maybe you do like men." Cloud looked up again, his eyes widening at the statement, the coolness in the SOLDIER's voice, and the sudden loss of those intense eyes as Zack looked away. "Guess that makes you different, huh? Seeing how backwater town's usually frown on that stuff."

"Zack. I-," he whispered, his heart starting to pound in fear. His breath froze when the SOLDIER looked at him once more, his eyes glowing brighter, his jaw tense with emotion Cloud couldn't decipher.

"So what are you going to do about it?"

There was an almost mocking quality to his words, his tone just taunting enough to spark something in Cloud that he didn't expect. Anger suddenly flooded his veins, making his eyes narrow and his teeth clench. His heart raced as he realized he'd just laid his emotions out on his sleeve, and to have it all thrown back in his face… who the hell did he think he was?! The floodgates slammed open and there was no turning back.

"What are _you_ going to do about it?" he snarled. "Because frankly I'm not going to do a damn thing different, and if this was just some sick joke, you bastard, I'm going to kick your sorry SOLDIER ass all over this damn plate-mph!" Cloud's tirade was lost against Zack's lips when the SOLDIER kissed him silent. Still soft, still warm, but now firm, demanding, and a moist sweep of a tongue across his lips made Cloud's eyes fall shut and his breath gasp. Zack's tongue dipped into his mouth, and a burst of sensation shot through Cloud's body, pulling a soft moan from somewhere in his chest.

It was unlike anything he'd ever felt, and he was having a hard time focusing on everything happening at that moment, though he tried desperately to savor each passing second. A soft warmth on his neck, where Zack's hand held Cloud's head in place. The soft caress of his thumb on his cheek, stroking in gentle circle around his jaw and tilting his head back slightly, just slightly, to dip his tongue deeper into Cloud's compliant mouth. A muscular arm wrapping around his waist, pulling Cloud's body closer. Cloud's arms reaching up around his neck, fingers running through his hair, grasping, clenching, pulling closer.

They weren't close enough…

As if reading his mind, Zack broke away to pull back far enough and look into Cloud's eyes. His chest was heaving, much like Cloud couldn't catch his breath, and his eyes glowed brightly. They glowed because of him, because of Cloud, and the cadet pulled the SOLDIER's lips back to his own, no hesitation as his tongue sought out Zack's.

The SOLDIER growled low in his throat and moved his hand from Cloud's neck under his right knee. Pushing him back slightly, he lifted the leg dangling on the other side of the railing and turned the cadet towards him, placing himself in between the blond's open legs and pulling their bodies close together. Soft moans and trembling breaths mingled with the splashing raindrops as they gripped each other, seeking to be closer still.

"Oi, Zack, you out here?"

Cloud gasped at the sudden loss of heat around him, his hands gripping desperately for the railing to prevent himself from tumbling over. He couldn't focus, the world spinning and the sound distorted by the pounding of his heart… but he could feel, quite clearly in fact, the emptiness where Zack had stood seconds before. Words were exchanged, something about cards and booze, something about missing out and what's wrong with the cadet. Cloud shook his head.

When he looked up, he could see Reno's swaying form, a shit-eating grin and a bottle of whiskey dangling from his slender fingers. He was saying something, laughing and gesturing, and then he was stumbling back inside. The balcony became quiet again. Too quiet.

He looked to his left and stared silently at the rigid form next to him. Zack's eyes were closed, his head bowed and his fingers digging into the railing hard enough to leave dents. The heat that had been shared not moments before was gone, leaving a chill so sharp Cloud felt himself shiver. He opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated, suddenly afraid of what might happen.

Something burned in his chest, and he realized it wasn't fear, but hurt. And anger. And Zack's words about being brave fueled his own. "What the hell was that?"

Zack turned away, but not before he could hide the wince at the accusing tone in the blond's voice. He took a breath but didn't speak. The silence didn't help.

"Say something. Or are you going to stand there and be a hypocrite to everything you just told me?" That got Zack's attention, and he turned a piercing stare on the blond that almost made the cadet shrink back. Almost. But something had clicked inside Cloud, something sparked by the words shared, the trust promised, the feelings shown, and the alcohol consumed. Something that made Cloud just brave enough to not be the backwards boy from Nibelheim, but be the forward man in the ShinRa army. And, godsdamn it, he was not backing down this time.

They stared, waiting for the other to break. And when Zack showed no signs of speaking, of answering up for his actions, Cloud narrowed his eyes and said the worst thing he could think of. "I trusted you."

The SOLDIER flinched. It broke the moment, and he blew a heavy breath out of his mouth as he sagged forward, placing all of his weight onto his hands. "I'm sorry," he uttered, low and soft and almost lost in the sprinkling rain. "I shouldn't have done that."

"You said you could trust them, so who cares if they saw-?"

"No, Cloud," Zack cut him off abruptly. "I shouldn't have kissed you… like that."

"… what?"

"I don't know what came over me. I didn't think I drank that much, but… I'm sorry."

"I'm not." Zack flinched like he'd been slapped, and Cloud felt a jolt of pain go through his chest. The anger was suddenly gone from his voice, leaving his soft tenor bare and vulnerable. "Zack?"

"Cloud, I can't." He shook his head. "I can't do this…" he whispered.

"It was a lie." The words left Cloud in a rush of air, his body nearly collapsing forward with the sudden loss of support. "Gods, everything was a lie." His fingers tightened around the railing and his eyes screwed shut, the words slipping past clenched teeth into the tense night air. "Bravery, acceptance, trust, all of it lies! Big words for the big man who has the backbone of a worm!'

"Cloud, don't-."

"I can't believe-you of all people-!"

"Cloud, stop, please-."

"-You're just like everyone else! Was it good for you, Zack? Are you enjoying this little fucking game-?!"

"Aerith, Cloud!" he snapped. "I can't-gods-I can't do this to her. She doesn't deserve that-."

Cloud stared at the SOLDIER, his chest heaving slightly. "But I do," he said flatly.

Zack froze. He slowly turned his head, looking at the cadet with wide, glowing eyes, his lips parted in shock. The words had struck a chord, hidden deep in his chest, and it coiled until it felt like it would rip the SOLDIER in two. "Cloud-," he whispered, the single word broken by his unstable voice.

"Whatever," Cloud said, his blue eyes suddenly as dull as his voice. "I'm used to it." He slid off the railing and walked towards the door, ignoring the pleading voice of the man behind him. Something was called out, something that disappeared in the wind and rain and slamming of the door as he entered the apartment.

It was stifling hot and reeked of booze and pizza. Everything was so loud but he ignored it, ignored all of it, keeping his head low and his movement forward, straight for the exit. If anyone called his name, he blocked it in his mind, and continued to move quickly and quietly until he was across the foyer; his hand was on the doorknob, he saw the carpeted hallway reserved for the elite rooms of the highest ranks in ShinRa-

-and everything tilted as he was yanked back, the door suddenly out of his hand and against his back, the walls quaking with the force of it being slammed and his body pressed firmly up into it. The interior of the apartment was blocked by the searing gaze of glowing blue eyes, inches from his own, and he tensed at the feel of strong fingers gripping his arms and holding him in place. Gods, those fingers were so strong Cloud could feel each finger bone digging into his flesh.

It should have scared him. It made his face flush with anger instead. He opened his mouth and was silenced by the frosted words of his captor.

"I wasn't done talking to you," Zack hissed.

"I was done listening. I've heard enough of your bullshit for one night."

"Really?" Zack growled, his eyes narrowing. "Fine. Have it your way." He released the cadet's arms to grab his face and hold him still as he brought his lips down on the blond's and ravaged his mouth with bruising force.

If Cloud thought it had been hot in the apartment before, he was sure the place was burning down now. Everything disappeared save for the heat from the man pinning him against the door, the moist tongue fencing with his own in a duel that set his blood on fire, and the near desperate sounds coming from Zack's throat-oh, gods, those sounds-mingling with his own panting breaths. He wasn't getting enough oxygen, he couldn't take enough of a breath, but gods… his fingers pulled Zack's head closer, suffocating the cadet with his moist heat and sweet lips.

Spots flashed around him and he thought he was blacking out… until cheers broke through his red haze. He heaved a gasp when Zack's lips were suddenly gone, but only from his mouth, that talented tongue of his tracing a line along his ear as the SOLDIER whispered hotly, "They see us, Cloud. All of them. And I don't care."

Cloud's fingers tightened in Zack's hair, whether from the tickling breath near a sweet spot on his neck or the words ringing around in his head. The sensations coursing through his body once again were not enough to distract his mind, though, and he pressed his forehead into Zack's neck. "What about Aerith? You said you wouldn't hurt her…"

"Gods, get a room, you two, there's one down the hall to the left-!"

"Nice going, Cissnei, first Reno with Rude, now Zack, you've got everyone getting all romantic up in here-!"

"Kiss him again, Zack, the last picture was blurry-!"

"Get lost!" the SOLDIER turned and sneered playfully at his friends, who snapped a few more shots when they could clearly see his and Cloud's faces. Zack stuck his tongue out and turned back to the blond in his arms, his forceful embrace slowly relaxing into something more comforting; his voice losing its fierce edge to be replaced with a hint of tenderness. Long fingers weaved up into his blond hair and stroked the soft strands. "I did say that," he whispered into Cloud's spiked locks. "I also said I hadn't kissed her. I kissed you instead. And I want to kiss you again. And only you." His hands dropped down to wrap Cloud's arms around his waist, and his muscular arms wrapped around Cloud's shoulders and pulled him close. "I will tell her tomorrow… if you accept my apology."

Cloud pulled away from the warm skin of his neck to look up into those glowing eyes once more. "Apology? For what? Kissing me?" His heart sped up just a beat at the flash of pain in the SOLDIER's eyes.

"For making you think I would ever be sorry for kissing you." He tilted his head and closed his eyes. "I am so sorry for hurting you like that. I didn't…" He opened his eyes slightly, their hooded gaze making Cloud shiver with their intensity. "I didn't think I'd feel like that… and just from a kiss."

Cloud swallowed. He knew he was pushing his luck, but something was bubbling in his gut that made him giddy and daring and terrified all at the same time. "Feel like what?" he whispered.

A blush crept across the SOLDIER's nose, a dusting of pink that made his eyes look bright. "You'll laugh," he copied the cadet's earlier words.

Cloud shook his head. "Cadet's honor."

Zack chuckled and pressed his forehead against Cloud's. "What were the words?" he asked softly to himself. He looked into Cloud's eyes and whispered, "Did my heart love till now? For swear it sight, I didn't know true beauty til this night."

Cloud could do nothing but grin, wide and carefree, and shake his head at the touching words coming from the SOLDIER's mouth, a mouth he soon claimed for his own, much to the delight of their photo flashing friends.

_The End_


End file.
